Holland
After finding out that Nicholas, my 2 month old son, has some hearing loss, I did a search and found a yahoo group that consists of parents who have kids with hearing loss. Joined last weekend and have just been reading the messages. I posted an intro telling about Nicholas and his diagnosis.
I just got a private email from one of the ladies on the board. Her son was diagnosed with hearing loss at one month. She had some good been-there-done-that advice for me. But what really struck me (and had me in tears) is this poem she included...
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I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with special needs…
It’s like this… When you’re going to have a baby, it’s like planning a fabulous vacation trip to Italy. You buy a bunch of guidebooks and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo. David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It’s all very exciting. After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "“Welcome to Holland.” “Holland?!” you say. “What do you mean, Holland? I signed up for Italy…All my life I’ve dreamed of going to Italy.” But there’s been a change in the flight plan. They’ve landed in Holland and there you must stay. The important thing is that they haven’t taken you to a horrible, filthy place…It’s just a different place. So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet…people you would have never met. It’s just a different place. It’s slower-paced than Italy, less flash than Italy. But after you’ve been there for a while…you begin to notice that Holland has windmills…and tulips. But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy…and they’re all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say “Yes, that’s where I was going. That’s what I had planned.”
But…if you spend your life mourning that fact that you didn’t get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things…about Holland.
I just got a private email from one of the ladies on the board. Her son was diagnosed with hearing loss at one month. She had some good been-there-done-that advice for me. But what really struck me (and had me in tears) is this poem she included...
~~
I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with special needs…
It’s like this… When you’re going to have a baby, it’s like planning a fabulous vacation trip to Italy. You buy a bunch of guidebooks and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo. David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It’s all very exciting. After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "“Welcome to Holland.” “Holland?!” you say. “What do you mean, Holland? I signed up for Italy…All my life I’ve dreamed of going to Italy.” But there’s been a change in the flight plan. They’ve landed in Holland and there you must stay. The important thing is that they haven’t taken you to a horrible, filthy place…It’s just a different place. So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet…people you would have never met. It’s just a different place. It’s slower-paced than Italy, less flash than Italy. But after you’ve been there for a while…you begin to notice that Holland has windmills…and tulips. But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy…and they’re all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say “Yes, that’s where I was going. That’s what I had planned.”
But…if you spend your life mourning that fact that you didn’t get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things…about Holland.
posted by Anonymous at 10:18 PM
9 Comments:
What a lovely gift this poem has turned out to be. And how spot on it is.
Parenthood is one of those things that just can't be planned. From miscarriages and nightmare labor experiences to unplanned illness and living-in-the-hospital reality, you never know how it'll turn out.
I put my parents through years of hospital hell, and I suspect that they also would have found kinship in the Holland poem.
Thanks for sharing this. Sometimes, words really can make a difference.
Oh wow - that little poem brought tears to my eyes. She is so spot on with sending you this.
Being a parent is both scary and wonderful. You just never know what is just around the corner, do you?
I wish everything good for your road ahead...I'll be back. Definitely.
here via Michele today...
That's so well written, and so true I'm sure. I agree with Carmi, parenthood is just one of those things that can't be planned. I saw the pictures of Nicholas and he's gorgeous!
cathy, glad to hear you have found some kindred spirits online.
i love the last part of the holland poem. it is true for many things in life and more people should have that kind of attitude.
michele sent me.
Beautiful sentiment and can be applied to so much in parenting or life. It is never like we planned & we just have to roll with it and enjoy the scenery of where we are at the moment. I think the unplanned events are there for a reason...definitely something to be learned along that path.
That is a lovely sentiment, Cathy. There's certainly some allegorical truth contained within the lines.
I'm sure the support group will be a tremendous help since you won't have to do all the leg work yourself.
Michele sent me over to see you, Nicholas, and your girls, Cathy (with a C).
What a great analogy, Cathy. YOu have turned lemons into lemonade and I am sure you will continue to do so.
THAT is profound, I am so glad you shared it
here from michele,
and blessed to be in your company
That poem is beautiful! I love it!
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